Years End--Reflections from the Farmstead

Originally written December 28,2010

I do not do resolutions, I resolved years ago that resolutions just dissapoint us--LOL--so I reflect on the previous year and share what I have learned and changes I hope to make personally--

2010 has been a year of positive changes, purging and growing--2010 brought with it many trials, but equally as many blessings--If I had to come up with a theme for the year it would be 'purging the negative, embracing the positive'--

Early 2010 was hard, we had much snow and I was still dealing with back issues from my car accident--the snow made it really hard to haul water daily, it was a very trying and depressing time in our life--It was a hard winter last year and seemed so much negativity surrounded our lives during this time--We were desperatly trying to build a home, but seemed no one was much interested in helping and we just did not have the funds to hire it done, nor did we want to go in debt--We learned who our 'real friends' were during this very trying time in our lives--Finally we gave up the idea of building a home and began looking into alternatives--the cabin was growing increasingly small and it was time to do something different--

Early 2010 brought us new life on the farmstead which is always a joy, just seems to make the winter more tolerable in my humble opionion--it was a very long winter last year, which I suppose kept us chased indoors and gave us all a lot of time to reflect on what needed changing in our lives--the end of winter last year was a defining point in our lives--the purging began--people that had played a significant roll in my life were just really beginning to bring me down--not just emotionally but also spiritually--while it was hard, I had to 'purge' them from my life--Negativity begats negativity--it's counter-productive and not what the Lord would have for our life--it took some time for me to work through the emptiness and the emotions, but the Lord has blessed me tremendously since following his lead to move away from negative influeneces--

Spring finally arrived with renewed hope and ambition to begin again--We planted the garden and it was wonderful--we worked hard on our land and added new things, planted some flowers, had some baby chicks hatch--goats were born and we began milking our doe--Life was going well--Financially things were hard, very hard--work was just not there for dh and it was a very trying time--but somehow by the grace of God we survived--Early summer brought about even more positive changes in our life--I settled my car accident and was able to pay off my car, buy a small mobile home and pay off a couple more small debts we had and even had some 'fun money' left--that put us in a financial position we had never been in--we only owed for our land--Things were beginning to look up--I was litterally thanking the Lord daily for what he had provided for us--While the accident was bad and really changed my life(will never be the same)the Lord used it to bless us greatly--July brought even more awesome changes, we had been without running water for 18 months to the day, when they showed up to finally drill our well--It was a miracle to us--it has been so long, so hard--it was surreal--It was actually 18 months and 10 days later before I could actually turn on a faucet and get water--LOL--I cried--not tears of saddness, but tears of thankfulness, gratitude, relief, happiness and just being overwhlemed by the fact of what a toll it had taken not having running water--you adjust, but its hard!--The rest of summer was awesome--I would get up daily and thank the Lord for the provision of us getting water and being debt free--While the next phase of our life was the hardest thing we had ever had to do it was much needed--we put our youngest dd in a facility for autistic children--while she is not severe and is very high functioniong, her behavior was dangerous for all of us--God has also used this time to befall many blessings on us--I am positive things will be different from here on out--

Fall brought about even more awesome life changing events--After many years of self-employment and over a year of looking for a job--we were blessed!--It was not his ideal job, nor does it pay much, but we were thrilled that he got a job--a steady income--God just really turned things around when we turned things around(purged the negative)--There is no where for us to go from here, except up--Our lives are good, we are happy, we are content--Funny how a job is often taken for granted then one day its all gone--We have definatly learned to not take things for granted--

Many lessons like the one above has been learned this past year--The only regret I guess I would have is that I did not 'purge' sooner in my life--I feel like I spent alot of time and energy on negative people and in turn had a negative outlook on my own life--We managed to meet most of our goals last year inspite of the cirucmstances in which we lived--I cannot wait to see how the Lord blesses us this year and in turn how we can bless others!--We are in such a better place than last year--we have running water, a steady income, a home and vehicles that are paid for--We truly are blessed--I think this last year one thing I have learned to not take things for granted like I used to--the saying is true "here today, gone tomorrow"--I think sometimes we get so comfortable in our lives we just take for granted that we have running water, electric, a paycheck etc...that we really don't understand that those things can be gone in the blink of an eye and through no fault of your own--I think I have a better grasp on what is truly important in life, I think we have found that place that we have 'enough' in our life'--we still have those things we would like to have, but they are not necessary to make us happy--we have found our place of simplicity--We love our life in spite of the fact others 'don't get it'--I no longer feel the need to 'explain' it to them--rather, I just smile and think, it's ok you don't get it--it's no longer important for me to 'help' them get it--I think that comes from really accepting who you are as a person, woman/man, in God--And we know who we are, we are content being on the path set before us and we no longer try to live like someone else nor do we feel the need to convince others why our life is what it is--we do what we do because the Lord led us here--it's that simple!

We have finally 'arrived' so to speak and know where we are going, how we are gonna get there and we are doing what the Lord has led us to do--We are not going to waste time looking at what others are doing or try and mimic that--we are on our own path, doing our own thing and that is so very freeing--We no longer have dreams that are impossible to reach with what we have--our goals and dreams are very realistic--it will just take a bit of work on our part to make them a reality--Funny how when you struggle with money, your goals are just never within your reach and you seem to dream bigger than you are--but when you can afford them you tend to downsize--I think maybe its because once you can do something you realize it's just not that important anymore--and you begin to realize that money is a precious commoditiy and not one to be squandered on the 'sillier' things in life--We are working daily to be good stewards of what the Lord has provided--we use what HE has given us in a way that will hopefully glorify HIM--

2011 promises to be a year of greatness for us and while there will be trials, possibly in ways none of us can even fathom--I know the Lord is faithful and will take care of his own--I am hopeful to remain steadfast and praise him even in our valleys--after all its in the valleys we grow--Our lives have come full circle in so many ways--We have had little, and we have had alot--but regardless the Lord has been there every step of the way--2010 was a year of growing and some of it was very painful--but I have come through it a better person and I am hoping to use what I have learned this next year to encourage and uplift others--You won't stay in that valley forever--We have learned to be thankful for all that we have--we have learned to be grateful for a paycheck that is steady--we have learned to be thankful for great friends, near and far that bring a positive outlook to our lives--We have learned that when we have a postive outlook on life even when trials are almost more than we can bear, we get through them much easier--Negativity begats negativity--Positive builds positive--There is always positve amongst the negative if we will just take the time to find it!

I am hopeful that 2011 brings about even more great changes in our lives--changes that I can look back on with great joy, even if we face massive trials I am hopeful that I can view it as a learning experience and thank the Lord for it--I want to be able to see the 'forrest in spite of the trees'--I am looking forward to 2011 in spite of the gloomy forecast for the economy and this world--We will make it through if we keep our focus on the Lord!

::Until Next Time::
The Deliberate Homesteader